Layoffs, downsizings and rightsizings all mean the same thing: The company will continue long after you are gone.

Companies have come up with creative names to describe when they eliminate jobs and people that they don’t need.

They used to call it a layoff ie. “We are laying people off. You are being laid off.”

Then they started calling it a downsizing ie. “We are downsizing. You are being downsized.”

As political correctness crept into our vocabulary, HR-types figured they needed to soften the blow and invented the term called rightsizing ie. “We are rightsizing. You are being rightsized.”

Rightsizing means the same as layoff and downsizing but it sounds better. Rightsizing makes us believe that we weren’t the problem, the company was the problem.

Trust me, you were the problem. Specifically, it was a problem that you were taking up a desk and chair and cashing a check every few weeks. That was a problem to the company’s board of directors and by extension to their shareholders. And their earnings per share, too.

The most recent round of layoffs were probably described by senior management as helping the company “prepare for the future” or to “become leaner” or “to become better able to compete in the new economy” or something like that.

By rightsizing, your company has told you that they were the wrong size while you were in their employment. Now that you are no longer there, they are the right size.

Interestingly enough, the company has also indicated that it was their right to rightsize you. That’s why it’s called rightsizing. They had the right to reduce their size and rightsizing happens to involve downsizing you. In that regard, the choice to rightsize you will always be considered the right decision.

Very clever, eh?

The key to remaining employed is to ensure that your name stays out of the company directory.

A former colleague of mine once told me this while we were working for a company that was known for having restructurings several times per year that resulted in job losses each time.

I was working on contract at the time and my name hadn’t been added to the company directory yet so he suggested I do what I could to ensure it stayed out of the directory.

I saw his point, and suggested that it was true that if our name wasn’t in the company directory, those making the decisions regarding job cuts wouldn’t know we were still employed and couldn’t downsize us. I already had an unlisted home phone number I told him, so being unlisted at work might have a further benefit based on his advice.

The theory was that senior management wouldn’t be able to find us at work because when they typed our name into the company directory to find out what floor we worked on, our name wouldn’t be there so they’d probably assume they’d turfed us in the previous round of layoffs.

The sad part is that as much as we were joking about it, at the time it actually seemed quite true and accurate. Headcount meant everything and a contractor like me didn’t actually count as an official staff member which had its advantages when it came to laying people off.

Moral of the story: The best way to remain employed these days is to ensure that the company you’re with understands your value. If you can show that you’re adding value – or more specifically adding revenue – you stand a better chance of remaining employed than someone who is doing a job that isn’t seen as bringing in revenue or is seen as doing a job that the company could do without.